Tape 14
by Cutie Bunny
Summary: Hannah Baker has survived her suicide attempt. Unbeknown to others, she has left a 14th tape, hidden, in the case of her unfortunate survival, of her warnings to the people who caused her so much pain and misery. She makes a Faustian bargain with a mysterious woman who promises to help her deliver what they deserve and the happiness she desperately craves AU Revenge.


Tape 14

Chapter I: Tape 14

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Summary: Hannah Baker has survived her suicide attempt. Unbeknown to others, she has left a 14th tape, hidden, in the case of her unfortunate survival, of her warnings to the people who caused her so much pain and misery. She makes a Faustian bargain with a mysterious woman who promises to help her deliver what they deserve and the happiness she desperately craves AU Revenge. Eventual Clay x Hannah

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 **A/N: I've been obsessed with 13 reason why and I just couldn't help but imagine what-if scenarios should Hannah survived her suicide attempt! I'm not sure whether I should make this a full story or if this will remain a one-shot (I know it's really bad for me to start a new story when I have so many other stories I could be finishing/updating but I just had to get this out of my head!)**

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Hannah Baker never knew life could be so bitter, miserable and dark. It was nothing to what her mum used to tell her. Perhaps she has been too naïve and too foolish, maybe she wasn't 'adult' enough, maybe it was her that was doing it wrong and others perfectly right. She tried to be the happy, vivacious, bubbly and outspoken girl. Her mum called her a happy soul, her happiness so contagious that it spread around like wildfire and a smile so big it awestruck anyone who saw it. But one day, somebody told her she wasn't good enough and she had committed the huge mistake of believing that person and all others who said the same and she still had no idea why she deserved such hate.

Her eyes fluttered open to a bright, harsh light and for a moment, she wondered if she was granted an entrance to heaven, for being good and kind and taking her own life was insignificant compared to how she lived her life.

"Oh, you're awake."

Hannah rolled her head to her left side toward the voice. It took her a moment for her eyes to get used to the lighting and the blurry figure soon settled into beautiful, blonde and blue eyed woman elegantly sat in a plush armchair.

"Welcome back to life, Hannah Baker." She smiled, "Unfortunately, you're diligent little effort weren't enough. Life's cruel till the end, huh."

"W..Who are you?" Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

"I'm your friend and an ally." She revealed, and then the mysterious woman nodded toward her arms, "The doctor said you should try not to move your arm more than necessary."

Hannah slowly leaned down to study her bandaged arms and let out a hiss as sharp, burning pain shot through her when she tried to move.

"You managed to damage your tendons and nerves. So wave goodbye to any chance of a decent hand-movement life. Or don't –– waving goes too." Then she held up a mini cassette player, "I enjoyed your tapes, by the way, you have your way with words. My favourite was the 14th one."

"Where's my parents?" She managed to ask, the white room and furniture blending into a colourful vertigo.

The woman stood up and elegantly strode toward her bed, sitting on the mattress near her arm.

"They think you're dead."

Hannah frowned, her face furrowing with confusion, "W-wait? What?"

"I think it's good to talk things through once the drugs wear off."

"N-no..what..w-wait..please…" Hannah raised her arm in desperate attempt to grab hold of departing woman.

The beautiful, mysterious woman seemed conflicted for a moment, as if she was debating whether to talk to the drugged out of her mind Hannah versus waiting for her to come out of the state. She seemed desperate and hurried.

"Well, simply put, I'm your answer to tape 14." She said, "This time, let me tell you a story. There was a girl, just like you, and one day, someone told her she wasn't good enough and she believed that. Her inner voice screamed that 'you are amazing; you're good enough; you're the best', but she drowned it, stomped it down, buried it, and she let other people reign over her heart and soul. She was strong. But even the strongest people have their breaking point. The girl tried so hard to please everyone –– she was the poster child for yes girl, and soon enough, she forgot how to value herself, her time and even how to say no. The girl, lost and lonely, went from person to person, looking for acceptance, for friendship, for love. In the end, she was angry, angry with herself; angry she can't please everyone and be in their good book, angry that she always seemed to mess up everything she did, angry at the world, angry at not meeting up with the expectation of the world. And thus cue her life of self-destruct, misery and shame and guilt."

Hannah's eyes start to water, and she felt like she was bleeding again.

"And that's not all we have in common." She revealed, "…Our souls were destroyed by the same person."

Hannah's eyes widened, her head whipped upward so harsh she was sure she had a crick in her neck.

"You didn't think it was only you or Jessica, did you? I.. have the honour of being his very first victim. Anyway, I think it's enough for today. We can talk more when the drug's out of your system."

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Hannah learnt the beautiful; mystery woman was Emily Caesar and she wasn't so much older than she was. Just by a mere year in fact. And she learned Emily was fifteen when Bryce forced himself on her in his swimming pool.

"I can help you." Emily said, "But only if you allow me to. Unless that tape 14 was just a spur of the moment recording, I won't stop you if you decide to go back to your old life again. You should consider my offer carefully."

"W-Why do my parents think I'm dead?"

She smiled as if she expected such questions, "I'm rich and money goes a long way. Forging the death of a little nobody from some town isn't so hard –– particularly, if she tried to kill herself. Makes it easier than, for example, if they became ill from something and you tell the parents you died, we'd have to do a bit of more of convincing. But you were dead, for few minutes; it was enough time for your parents to see you get carried out in a body bag."

Hannah's eyes clenched shut, forcing away the imagery of her mum and dad crying and shouting for their dead baby.

"Why me? Why not someone else?"

"For one, we're quite similar being the tragic hero in our little fairy-tale. Two, we share the same scars and enemy of course. Three, I absolutely loved your tapes. I think it's quite a fun way of haunting people from the grave. I thought you were going to be that 'you made these mistakes, now look what you've done and hope this forever haunts you while you live' kind of person, until I listened to your 14th tape. I want to know how serious you are."

Hannah stared at her bandaged wrists; the doctor had warned her that she might never be able to regain full function of her wrists ever again.

"Do you want to know what happened to those thirteen people?" Emily asked, "I can show you their files I got from the private investigator. But one thing they all share in common: they are living a very happy life. Justin and Jessica, they're applying to go to the same college; Zach, numerous offers of scholarships from prestigious colleges, coaches fighting to take him on to their team and a beautiful girlfriend; Marcus, a great honorary student and beloved student body president as always..should I go on or do you want to read the files in detail?"

Hannah's fingers twitched. She was meant to curl them into a fist but even a smallest movement resulted in pain and numbness.

"And look at you. You've lost everything and now you lost your hands too." Emily shook her head, "When a girl decide to kill herself, people act as if one night she just decide to slit her wrists in her bathtub. Then they decide to notice you; teachers acting as if they knew you, students acting as if they've been your best friends for ages, make a little memorial with shitty flowers you don't even like, few couple of selfies hash-tag RIP, hash tag will be missed and loved, hash tag heaven gained another angel and few features in the newspaper talking about how loving daughter you were, how much of a dedicated student you were, how you had so much to look forward to." Emily scoffed, "It's pathetic; suddenly you've become some kind of poster child for anti-suicide prevention. It'll be like that for few weeks or so, and then the society will deem the case closed and move on," She snapped her fingers, "Just like that. And you know what's so unfair, to the ones involved, to people like us, we will continue to live on forever in that incident while people who caused all this, forgets about it and move on with their lives. That's the difference between us and them."

Hannah couldn't hold back her tears and now it was freely flowing down her cheeks.

Emily's voice softened, "Why do they have to go this far? Maybe they have a shitty life. Maybe they're just as fucked up as we are. Maybe the only way to they could bear to live is by making other people just as miserable as they are. They don't really have a reason. It just so happens that you were caught in their web. Whether you put it up with it or put up a fight, it makes no difference. In the end, you get killed. If you don't like that…risk your life…and retaliate. I'm giving you that chance."

Then she slid the sharp razor toward Hannah.

"Make your choice, Hannah."

* * *

Hannah spent most of her days in the small clear room, entirely glass with a desk facing her. Everything was a blur – the nurses and the doctor's faces, the constant prick of needles in her arms, the time and she had trouble listening to people talking to her. Emily visited her every day, but she made no further mentions of nor did she seem willing to continue their previous conversations.

One day, she was allowed out of the tiny room and she soon realised she wasn't in the hospital but in a little cottage that belonged to Emily. Hannah explored the beautiful garden with Emily tagging behind her. The scenery that would have normally tugged her heartstring seemed to have become dulled down in its response. Boring almost.

"Do you like flowers?" Emily asked as she observed Hannah slowly reaching up to touch the petals.

"…Not anymore." She pulled away.

"How could you? When the world is so shitty." Emily ripped a yellow flower from the ground and threw it on the dug soil, "How can flowers be lovely in your eyes when everything is scary and detestable. The flowers, people, and the world."

Hannah glanced at Emily before something caught her eyes; a spider and a wasp that was trapped in its web. Emily's words began to ring in her head. The wasp desperately flailed in the web and the invisible strings wrapped itself around its victim tighter than before as the spider crept toward its meal. There didn't seem to be much hope for the wasp. It will soon be devoured and killed by the spider, just how the nature intended. The wasp fought against the spider with its sting. It seemed like a futile, losing battle.

Then something miraculous happened much to Hannah's surprise, the webs broke and the wasp and the spider fell onto the ground. Hannah stared at the two insects wiggling beneath her.

 _Whether you put it up with it or put up a fight, it makes no difference. In the end, you get killed. If you don't like that…risk your life…and retaliate._

Retaliate. Just like the wasp. Desperate to live. Want to live. The wasp was such an insignificant insect, a vermin and an imitation striving to be the real Bee. But still, it wanted to live. Not matter how pathetic it seemed to be and how useless it was, the wasp still fought to live. Want to live…Hannah wanted to live. She might be worthless and useless and good-for-nothing but she still deserved to live. She deserved her share of happiness. She deserved her place in this world.

Hannah brought her foot down and stomped hard on the spider.


End file.
